I admit it. I am the infamous "Suzanne," the "meteorologist" named once or twice on Madge and Dave's Unload podcast. Only now, I get a new moniker: Shazam! How cool is that? Either I get to be an exclamation made by a second-rate superhero, Captain Marvel, or I can be an iPhone app that can tell you what song is playing around you. That's a pretty superhero-ish superpower, don't you think?

What does this have to do with dating, you ask? Everything. Here's why.

A few years back, when I lived in a different state and knew I was moving to where I live now, I was dating for the sake of getting back in the game and having fun. The two conditions of having just ended a long-term relationship  and knowing I was moving shortly made it clear nothing serious was going to start. So I made some decisions to date people who, in hindsight, it would have been better to avoid.

One of these was Blunder. (This was his actual nickname.) He was one of the funniest people I had ever chatted with, and we chatted online for months before we met. It turned out, though, that he was a total loser and an alcoholic. How much of a loser was he? That's a story for another day.

On the plus side (for me), he also introduced me to his friends. These friends made use of the dating site we were all on as their playground. At the time we met, they had formed the Superhero Club and all created superhero profiles. He invited me to do the same. So I did.

I am still friends with some of his friends from that time, but he isn't. That's how much of a loser he is - they dumped him. And he learned a lesson from me as well - don't mess with smart women. But again, a story for another day.

This story is about why I deserve a superhero nickname. I will wear it proudly. Shazam!

Oh, and Madge and Dave, if you are reading this: think swans, and eagles, and yes, chickens. Could you really live without them?

Love ya too!

BONUS: Actual photo of superhero me from superhero profile days.

My dating life has been dead, dead, dead. I have had really no interest. There has been some interest in me - I even made it into the top half of attractive folks on a dating site this week - but I have had no motivation to pursue any of it. I did go on one date a few weeks ago, but neither of us followed up.

Might have a little something to do with how crazy busy I am. I have had no libido. I'm also still recovering from a recent health issue and am concerned about how that might impact my sex life - when I have one again. 

Add into the mix an ongoing friendship with my ex, which I think may have contributed, in that I was getting *some* male process, conversation, etc. But that ended a few days ago when he became a complete and utter jerk to me. He let me down big time, and I let him know how much that hurt me. In response, he stopped talking to me and wouldn't even respond when I told him I needed his help urgently (which was true). So I crossed him off my list of friends, something I told him I'd do only if he really screwed up with me. Now he has, and I'm not talking to him. We have to take care of some unfinished business, later this week, but after that, forget it. I won't be a doormat or deal with fair-weather friends. Hurts too much.

But I'm wondering if as a result of cutting off that contact, the parts of me that need male connections might be reawakening. This morning, as I was rushing to catch a plane because I was terribly late and practically trampled everyone in my path, I noticed that one of the people I nearly trampled was a very cute and nice-looking guy.

Then last night, boy did I have a dream! It was very unusual. I was with people in some kind of closed community or small town. There were four men there who were very interested in me and wanted to date me. (That was a nice feeling!) I was spending a little time with each one, trying to decide which one to date, and doing so quickly because I'd promised them a decision soon.

There were two older men who were good matches on paper, but I didn't feel chemistry or attraction to them. Then there was a shy, sweet guy, who was a good possibility. I was drawn to him, but not enough... though I could have been as a second choice. He was also tall.

Then there was the fourth guy, even taller, though with rounded features, who I did choose. He was a strange choice because he worked at a bike shop (not the most lucrative job), had poor impulse control (could be too boyish), and was the most immature of the bunch. But for some reason, we had amazing chemistry. A touch sent a thrill through me (still in my dream, remember). When I went to tell him, he was considering which other woman to take out, barely letting me get a word in edgewise, thought I was setting him up, and then when he realized I was saying it was me he should date, he almost exploded. It was hard to get him to listen long enough to hear that dating him was conditional on him not acting stupid, and that he needed to keep it quiet for now because I hadn't told the other guys yet, and I didn't want them to feel bad in the face of his joy. I told him if he flipped out, I would change my mind in an instant and go for #2. So he calmed down.

He then told me he had had a crush on me for the longest time, and that this was like a dream come true for him. At this point I semi-woke up, feeling good, and my semi-conscious turned the dream into a little fantasy about how the dating developed. Basically, he couldn't keep his hands off me, and I was incredibly attracted to him, too. I thought maybe the attraction stemmed from his feelings for me, that they were so powerful they overwhelmed me, but I decided to go with it.

Reflecting on this dream/daydream later, I thought it was interesting that for the first time in a while, I had a dating/sex dream. So maybe my interest is reawakening. What do you think?

I bring my netbook with me, because I like to be able to check email, respond to Facebook, and look things up on the web (including activities pertaining to my vacation). While my iPhone is great for these, it's easier to do some things on the netbook. Plus I can watch videos and TV shows on the net with the netbook; I rarely turn on hotel TVs. Finally, my netbook is insured for theft, so I am happier to bring that than my laptop.

The day after my last post, everything changed. I met a surgeon for a procedure I had to have done. The meeting went well. But the next Tuesday, he called back with a new assessment that meant a much longer recovery time, more major surgery, and possibly a cancer diagnosis. Yikes!!!

First thing I did was contact the landlord whom I had given my deposit. He said he'd give mine back once the place was re-rented. All good. I contacted my ex as well and asked if we could stay here an extra month, to which he also agreed, though it would be difficult. Then I started getting family, friends and work on board. Oh yeah, I was home sick with a cough - even after a week's vacation. I think my body just wasn't bouncing back due to this internal problem.

Fast forward through an emotional roller coaster of angst and issues, and I had the surgery last Wednesday, 3/3. The hospital was great, in some ways like a spa, caring for so many patients with cancer that they really tried to make it easy. I attended a workshop where they showed us how to use makeup, especially for those in chemo and radiation. We all walked away with these huge goody bags full of great makeup, including Bobbi Brown, Aveda, etc., all donated by the companies, stuff I would never afford on my own. Plus tips for wigs and scarves (tips I hope I never have to use). It was such a lovely experience, kind ladies and fun in hospital robes with IVs.

They also had a gorgeous patient recreation floor, with arts and crafts, games, an outdoor patio (just beginning to be attractive in this weather), pool tables, a library, and more. So pleasant and sunny; I really felt good being there, but then I had to leave.

Now of course, I pulled my profiles right after the diagnosis. So no dating talk since then. But there is an interesting conversation I will post in another entry.

At the moment I am trapped in my tower, unable to use stairs except for once a day, so I ration those. I feel far from attractive with my painful, cut-open-and-sewed-shut tummy. Yes, I lost weight due to them removing something large from my insides, but it will be a while before my abdomen is cute again. Plus sex? Forget it. Months away at least. We will see. So no spicy entries here for a while!

And that landlord of course turned out to be a jerk. He's keeping my money. Who would do that, I ask you, to a women who had to back out due to surgery and a possible cancer diagnosis, plus loss of work for at least a month or two?

For better or worse, I am now committed to an apartment. It has its pros and cons, but affordability is one of its pros, and it has pretty much enough space for my stuff. So that's one thing off the list.

I've been chatting to a couple of guys on a different dating site: one in the South, and one who is younger (which almost never works out). Younger guys have been pretty universally flaky, in my experience. He seems interested, though, so we shall see. He is 36. I am six years older. Maybe it's better, because I'm not so attracted to older guys these days.

I may hire movers to help me move... the thought of doing it myself, even with help, is overwhelming at this time.

As of yesterday, I had two dates scheduled for the coming week after I return from going out of town on business. One was Tuesday with Max, and one Wednesday with R. But R. wrote me this morning to say he had hit it off with someone else on the same site and was going to concentrate on her.

Good for him! I had doubts about our compatibility anyway - in some ways he was great (intelligent, a go-getter, funny, athletic) but in other ways triggered red flags (his age, his little girl, wanting to have his own way, intolerance of certain beliefs and support of beliefs I am against). This is good, because at least for now, I am getting more interested in Max and had a hard time thinking about having a date the next day with R. if things go well with Max.

Of course, if things *don't* go well with with Max, I may miss having a date with R.! It's okay, though - I have so much work to do this week getting ready to move that it's best that I don't go gallivanting around too much.